Seen around the country:

• Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
  'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'


• In a Podiatrist's office:
  'Time wounds all heels.'


• On a Plumber's truck:
  'We repair what your husband fixed.'


• On another Plumber's truck:
  'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'


• On a Church's Billboard:
  '7 days without God makes one weak.'


• At a Tire Store:
  'Invite us to your next blowout.'


• On an Electrician' s Truck:
  'Let us remove your shorts.'


• In a Non-smoking Area:
  'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'


• On a Maternity Room Door:
  'Push. Push. Push.'


• At an Optometrist' s Office:
  'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'


• On a Taxidermist' s Window:
  'We really know our stuff.'


• On a Fence:
  'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'


• At a Car Dealership:
  'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'


• Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
  'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'


• In a Vet's Waiting Room:
  'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'


• In a Restaurant Window:
  'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'


• In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
  'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'


• And don't forget the sign at a Radiator Shop:
  'Best place in town to take a leak.'


• On a Septic Tank Truck:
  'Yesterday's Meals on Wheels.'


• Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck 'We are in the number 2 business.'


• And on the back of yet a third Septic Tank Truck:
  'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'