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People should eliminate excess and unnecessary words. For instance, carried to an extreme, some Shakespearean plots can be summarized as "Boy meets girl and everyone dies."

Hearing hackneyed clichés is like hearing fingernails on the chalkboard of English.

I'm a big fan of shish kabobs...But my friends are always grilling me about it.

I hope to one day see an oil tanker stuck on the side of a highway cuz he ran out of gas.

Scientists tell us that life is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons…they forgot to mention the morons!

Streakers REPANT!! Your end is in sight!!

I was a kleptomaniac... So, I took something for it.

I know I’m in my own little world…but that’s ok, I’m well known here!

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Ladies, if a man says he'll fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months!